February 2012
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“Sometimes, when your phone goes off, for a split second I think you’re...”
– My coworker.
I assured her that I am much more discrete than that, but it’s good to know that if I ever let one slip, I’ll just pretend to answer my phone.
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I married a Nice Man, not a "Nice Guy."
blueandbluer:missworded:
Nice Man - makes dinner because he’s an adult and the adults in the household do chores because food is necessary for not dying.
“Nice Guy” - makes dinner because he wants you to fuck him.
Nice Man - puts you in bed after you’ve had too much to drink because people who care about one another behave in compassionate ways. Plus maybe the next day he can make fun of...
Have an Always Sunny Valentine's Day
chiigusa:
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the crap i will watch if Ricky Martin is in it…
8:05
Deadly Women/Ricky on Glee switch count is at 3
I will be switching to Deadly Women every time I can’t tolerate Glee long enough despite the Ricky Martin in it. I have a feeling there will be lots of pressing the “last” button for the next half hour.
8 tags
Shit Twin Cities People Say: →
stuffaboutminneapolis:
Do you have any lotion? This is where they invented the Jucy Lucy. Seriously, air conditioning? Seriously? Wait, is there a snow emergency? So I think we can park on the odd…no, the even…no… It’s gotta be peak color right now It’s called a turn signal! Do you have Surly on tap? Let’s go there, I think they have Surly on tap. Come here once. Duck duck grey duck. ...
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ampersand2006 asked: Do you have the new Of Montreal album yet? SO GOOD!!! Less synths, more horns and strings, but still the same youthful exuberance for musical exploration. Good stuff.
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“A lot of white people like black people. They buy hip-hop, they watch black...”
– Baratunde Thuston, on why it’s important for white people to have a black friend (via nprfreshair)
Unspoken Guidelines for Making “Women’s Comedy”
thetangential:
1. Amp up the laugh track (er, live studio audience) People aren’t yet sure what to do when watching a women’s comedy. Should they cry? Paint their nails? Do a sun salutation? Actually, the proper response is laughter, so it’s important to remind viewers of this by forcing your live, studio audience to guffaw at every line of dialogue.
2. Each episode’s script must include the...
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My main problem with Christina Aguilera is that she can’t just say a word normal, like “cat.”
She’d say “caayayayyyaaaayayayyayayaayaAAAYY, WOO HOO HOOO WOOOO YEAAAAH OOOOH NOOOO WAAAAAYYY AYAAYAT”
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Voto Latino: Ana Tijoux Gives Us A Bite Of Her... →
Kickass interview with Ana Tijoux, plus a free download of “La Bala” - my favorite track off of her new album, La Bala.
January 2012
Rejected "Family Feud" Categories
thetangential:
Reasons to collect your urine in jars
Politically incorrect terms for racial/ethnic groups that are stil widely used by Baby Boomers
Things women flash their tits for
Reasons a man can’t get an erection
Redneck baby names
Dinosaurs you never see in museums
Methods of birth control
Favorite libertarians
Things in a family’s past they deliberately avoid talking about
...
Worst bar concept EVER
Last night I had a dream that two of my coworkers invited me and another friend to a SHARK ATTACK bar. The entire concept was, you’re sitting on this sunny porch (inside), eating a burger and/or drinking an expensive fruity drink, and a siren sounds and yells SHARK ATTACK! A surge of water comes and fills the restaurant with water and live sharks. Your burger and drink, of course, get dumped...
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Craigslisting is harder without a car.
My old roommate just played “whom” on Words With Friends.
I out loud, said “What is a Whom?!” (rhymes with bomb)
….
I am not having a smart day.
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“Also, I might have a few friends over tomorow night to watch the State of the...”
– I don’t think I have ever seen this sentence before in my life
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scoldylox:
carrot-of-carrots:
I bet the reason Android phones don’t have an easy screen cap button like the iPhone is so you can’t take pictures of all their errors and post them online.
The time I said I wanted a strawberry diarrhea instead of a strawberry margarita via Android phone can attest to this.
“So I should leave here anal eat there.”
Foreign policy...
catalogliving:
Elaine, I know you put these reminders up throughout the house, but I’m still having a devil of a time trying to learn our new exchange student’s name.
